Drip drip drip...

My toilet is leaking so I'd like to nominate it as deserving to be slapped. Luckily, so far, there's an overflow that leads outside (nice puddle on the ground floor from me on the 2nd). Probably something wrong with the ballcock washer. My partner noticed the pipe dripping from the opposite side of the communal garden and banged on my door earlier to let me know. Kill the messenger I say! LOL! On top of that I can't turn the water off because the stopcock is rusty and the whole thing will crumble if touched. Obviously it's Sunday and tomorrow is a Bank Holiday. We called a plumber who might or might not come on Tuesday. In the meantime watching water level in cistern like a hawk. I also have a deadline on Tuesday and need a clear head to do my work. Yeah, fat chance of that! So slapping my toilet for its wonderful timing.

I'm menopausal; I must be a moron too

I couldn't think of anyone to slap this week (lucky me!) until about an hour ago, when I heard on the wireless (such a lovely retro word) that a UK publishing company had just launched a special series of novels for "women over 45"!!!

There are no words to describe how patronizing I think that is. I'm 57 and I haven't read half of all the books I want to read in my lifetime. I do not need books written especially for me and I don't believe other middle-aged women do either. What about all the Tolstoïs and Balzacs and Victor Hugos and EM Forsters and Edith Whartons and.... one hasn't read yet? One lifetime is not enough anyway. I've always hated genre fiction, especially the one aimed at women (detective stories, etc. have a place) and five years working at Mills & Boon/Harlequin didn't make me change my mind. Now there's a new genre - "menopausal fiction". Yuck!

Beauty at any cost?

I'd like to slap all the clever manufacturers who exploit women's insecurities and sell them products they don't need or stuff that doesn't work - from intimate deodorants to caffeine-infused tights to overpriced lotions and potions.