Thursday, 8 September 2005

Tête à claques II

This is turning into a gallery, or one of those funfair whatchamacallits, where you throw leather balls at people’s heads.

Today’s Tête à claques is Keira Knightley. I shout at the TV whenever she appears. That's a sure sign.

When I heard that she was filming Pride and Prejudice, I thought, “Nah, can’t be! No one would be so stupid! She can’t be playing Lizzie Bennet!” But she is! You’d have to pay me to go and see that film, and, even then, I might find something better to do with my time. The last TV adaptation of P&P was absolutely superb – you know, the one with the wet shirt and the delightful Jennifer Ehle – and I have no intention of spoiling my memory of it with this new rubbishy one.

I can’t stand KK: in profile she looks like a sheep (and that’s being nasty towards sheep) and she can’t act. She’s so wooden. She was appalling in a recent TV remake of Dr Zhivago (there again, who in their right mind would try and replace the wonderful, luminescent Julie Christie?!). I can't believe anyone takes her seriously as an actress.

And the way she “smoulders”… Ugh! Shrimps are not sexy.

Slap slap!


  1. This was actually my first big laugh of the day, thanks J. I will see it anyway just to watch Judi Dench.

  2. Maybe I can be blindfolded and earplugged when that KK is on. I'd love to see Judi Dench too. Drat, that's a problem!

    aggxe: what I'll use when I can't slap people any more.

  3. Looks like you are having quite a bit of fun blogging, J!

    Hope all is well.

  4. Ha! Well, I've only seen her in two things, Pirates of the Caribbean and Bend It Like Beckham, and both were pure fun froth, and she was fine in them. I couldn't possibly imagine her doing serious acting work, though.

    A sheep! You're so funny. XD

  5. You sound surprised, B. I'm having a lot more than "quite a bit of fun"; I'm having an awful lot of fun. Aren't you?

    She was all right, actually, in Bend It Like Beckham, T. Everyone was great in that film, even that other dummy, Parminder Nagra, who managed to give a feisty performance before putting on a permanently sulky mask in ER.

  6. You are too funny J! I laughed away as I read this post.

    Like Robin, I may see it for Dame Judi Dench. Wonder what she thought when the cast list was announced.

    I cannot bear KK either. She was OK in Bend it and Pirates but I do not class her as a "serious" actress. Shrimp? Sheep? ROTFL!!!!!!!!!

    PS The word verification thingie really takes a lot of time. :(

  7. i HATE keira knightley. i hate her uberposh accent and her crappy acting. i hate that her real name is probably karen. i hate her utter conviction that she is beautiful and hilarious and that all the boys want to do her and all the girls want to be her.

    kwabfwm: the noise made when ineffectual superhero Cushion Man hits you full in the face with a bolster

  8. Everyone was great in Bend It Like Beckham except for Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. In the climactic scene in the airport, when he runs to our heroine across the vast space, this man, supposedly an athlete, runs like the sissiest sissy boy who ever sissed. His elbows are stiff at his sides, his forearms flop out at an awkward angle, and his step is undeniably mincing. He undid an entire movie's worth of heartthrob work right there. I couldn't stop laughing for days.

  9. I may have to slap Judi (me and she, you know – we’re old pals, LOL!) for not choosing her material better these days. On the other hand, Donald Sutherland is also in that film so maybe she had a crush on him like I used to and could help herself.

    The word verification thingy is a bit of a nuisance, N – it’s amazing how many times I get it wrong, LOL! But surely it only takes a few extra seconds and it’s a source of fun, as well. I’m easily amused.

    Thanks for visiting, Surly Girl! Must come and see you too. Hey, what about Rosamund Pike (who's also in it)? Bet you hate her as much as I do. Who are those nonentities? Well, one them is the daughter of an actor and a playwright, and the other one is the niece of an actor, or something. And they both got into acting because they had a vocation and got no help whatsoever from their families. Yeah, right!

    I can’t remember that scene, T. I’ll take your word for it. LOL!

  10. *Laughing.* And I needed a laugh after all the news and more news about you know the messy aftermath of the storm and all.

    Even the comments and your comments on the comments were all fun.

  11. It's not just the word verification thingy I should take more time over! (I really wish Blogger would introduce an "Oops!" function for after a comment has been posted.) I meant Judi "could not help herself", of course. Duh!

    Glad we managed to distract you for a moment, TLP. I’m always ROTFLing when I visit you. :-)


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