Do you know what gets my goat? Well, you do know what gets my goat: I tell you more or less twice a week. No, but do you know what really gets my goat? It’s women who define themselves (or are defined by other people) in relation to someone else. Newspapers write, ‘A 75-year-old grandmother blah blah blah…’ Why can’t they say, ‘A 75-year-old woman blah blah blah…’ If the fact that she’s got grandchildren has nothing to do with the matter in hand, why mention it? Why can’t she just be this human being who’s done something or to whom something’s been done? When was the last time you read the same kind of thing about a man?
What am I? A 57-year-old cat owner? I am that, but I wouldn’t define myself as such.
But some women are their worst enemies in that respect. They undervalue themselves and their achievements. Either that or, when they haven’t achieved much (or so they think), they boast about their spouses’ accomplishments in ridiculous terms. Not long ago, I heard a woman say – with no hint of irony – something like, “My genius hubby thinks that…” and there followed some incredibly banal remark. I wonder how many times a day that particular ‘hubby’ tells his wife he’s a genius and could be a member of Mensa if he wanted to (that is, if he wanted to associate with right-wing extremists).
My goat is especially got when the ‘little’ woman says, “I’m computer illiterate. I’ll have to ask my fiancé [aaaargh!] how to switch on the computer.” I only exaggerate a tiny bit. (I also know I’ve touched on that subject in the past, but, oh, how it annoys me!). Since when is it ok to admit to being illiterate in anything? Lady, if you’re computer illiterate, please learn how to use that now-indispensable machine and stop relying on a man for anything that doesn’t require sheer brawn. You have a brain – presumably. Use it! And remember that, on average, women live a lot longer than men and therefore you might suddenly find yourself lumbered with all sorts of things you can’t do (actually, learning how to put up shelves is quite useful too, and the same applies to the few men who survive their women and who can’t boil an egg or use the washing machine).
Slap, slap, slap! Slapping all the women who behave as if the term homo sapiens doesn't apply to them.