Sunday, 15 January 2006

Tête à claques VI

This one’s easy: George Galloway has been asking to be slapped for ages (I have a feeling he would enjoy it too). How do you become a figure of fun when you’re an MP? There are lots of ways - most of them involve sex, but George has done it in a different way, although he’s about as funny as a tinpot tyrant from a banana republic. You know the type. I don’t want to compare him to more scary bogeymen like Hitler or Mussolini, but if they sometimes looked preposterous so does he.

The way he’s done it is by taking part in Celebrity Big Brother (I slapped my beloved Germaine Greer for doing the same thing last year; what is it with those people?) and he's regaled viewers with his antics for the past week or so. It would be pathetic and rather funny if it didn’t cost money to the taxpayer: he’s being paid to do a job, but he’s not at his post and has already missed several important votes in Parliament. His long-suffering constituents and fellow MPs have now circulated a petition demanding for him to leave the House (the Big Brother House, that is, not the House of Commons, although….). It’s sad and it’s somehow typical of a certain kind of British politician. Who can take them seriously these days?

I don’t suppose his name will ring a bell with my US readers: George doesn’t export well. Saddam has heard of him, though. They used to be pals. They met at least twice in the past and George made a point of telling us that there was nothing wrong with Saddam; he was a good guy. Now, who am I to criticize someone’s choice of friends and think what you will about the war, but no one can seriously deny that Saddam was a despot, who ordered the deaths of thousands of his fellow countrymen. That’s when George stops being funny and joins the ranks of ‘dangerous’ apologists.

As Joyce Grenfell might have said, “George, don’t do that!”

Update: It's hilarious. The winner of the Slap of the Year award has commented on the performance of the current Tête à claques in Celebrity Big Brother. Ken Livingstone said, “I have occasionally got involved in media events that were not as ennobling as I would have hoped, but I have never done anything as spectacularly stupid as this.”

The words ‘kettle’ and ‘pot’ come to mind. And we live in hope, Ken.


  1. he is a silly, vain man

    nuff said

    once again, i am happy to oblige with a hearty slap...

  2. Dear J,
    I put a link to you on my blog as I'd been meaning to for a while. I migrated toward a slap-esque style. I should dedicate my most recent post to you!

  3. I think you might be in tune with an awful lot of people here! It'll be interesting to see what happens when he comes out. When Germaine came out, she was able to use all her various newspaper columns to attempt to analyse/justify her decision to go in BB. She was also able to say, 'I was foolish, I made a mistake.' And of course, she walked out after 3 days.

    They always seem to have one 'serious' person in with the celebs. It makes the serious person (I use this term cautiously about George) look trivial and makes the celebs seem even more lightweight.

  4. You're right, J, I've never heard of him. But...a sitting member of Parliament, participating in a reality show? How dare he continue to feed at the public trough?! Slap-slap-slappity-slap!

  5. Dunno anything about him, but I trust you. So *slap*

    He's silly and his mother dresses him funny.

  6. I think that if Members of Parliament are going to take part in celebrity based reality shows then it should be reflected in their pay. Instead of their full salary, they should be paid a very small dollar amount similar to like when people serve jury duty.

    But then again, George W. has been a constant figure in his own version of "The Surreal Life" and I don't believe his wages have been garnished.

  7. Side comment: you don't have to be from a banana republic to be a tinpot tyrant ... as we have come to know. xoxo

  8. Glad you agree with me, UC. (Wonder if any Brit disagrees at all.)

    C, I'm flattered. Thank you very much. I will link to yours too. :-)

    L, didn't Germaine say she'd done it because she needed the money for some project? She shouldn't have done it, but I've forgiven her. LOL! We weren't paying her a salary for a job she wasn't doing, anyway.

    The whole thing is disgraceful.

    Thanks, D! He deserves it.

    How did you know that, TLP? LOL!

    Quite right, SL! George Galloway is hardly ever where he should be - in his constituency or in the House of Commons! It was revealed that he takes enormously long holidays. What a piece of work, eh?

    I won't comment on GWB. ;-)

  9. Where did you spring from, M! You weren't there a minute ago!

    You're right, too. It just sounded quite good, I thought. Scared of clichés, moi? LOL!

  10. Slap him, indeed! And am I the only one who thinks he looks like Stacy Keach?

  11. Hasn't he signed parliamentary stuff from within the entertainment compound? Cut off from any communication with the world but somehow able to influence law making. Kinda makes a mockery of our authority figures.

    So, good idea or bad idea? Maybe he deserves an award, not a slap, for opening our eyes to the dubious merits of elected officials.


  12. T, I don't think he looks like Stacy Keach. SK looks intelligent, and I have a fondness for repaired harelips (ah, Joaquin!).

    Welcome, JVS! I believe you're right. I hadn't seen it that way. Anything that makes us more aware has to be a good thing.

    Nice blog, btw. :-)


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