I was just settling down to do a bit of work. I’d put my phone back on because I thought if I stayed connected to the Net I wouldn’t be able to resist looking at what was out there. So I was just opening the document I wanted to work on when the phone rang. Thinking it was most probably about work, I picked up the receiver. “Hullo!” Silence at the other end. Not a sound. Not a breath, heavy or otherwise. “Hullooooo!” I’m losing patience here. And then a click and a very loud (recorded) voice assaults my ear, “You are the lucky winner of a cruise on the…” I’ll never know where that cruise was going to take me because I slammed the receiver down.
At other times, I get a very remote voice, usually with an accent you could slice with a knife (translation of un accent à couper au couteau; you might as well learn a bit of French while you’re here), asking me whether I’m me. Yes, I am. And whether I want a new kitchen (mine is the size of a shoe box in a flat as big as a cupboard) or change my gas suppliers (I don’t have gas).
I’m on a list somewhere: it says at the top “The following are people you can disturb at any time of the day and offer them stuff”. Probably the electoral roll is such a list, but you can’t not be on it because if you’re not you can’t get a credit card or get a loan or anything. If you’re not on the electoral roll, you’re not a good citizen and no one would want to be that. I don’t see why I should get so much aggravation from it, though.
A slap to those cold callers. There must be other ways to earn a living. I wouldn’t want to have people hang up on me like that all the time. I’d feel crushed after a while. Oh, drat, I’m starting to feel sorry for them now. Quick ... slap!