Wednesday, 13 July 2005

Oscar deprivation revisited

So here you are: sitting in front of the telly.

You’ve been looking forward to this for an entire week. You’ve zoomed through the supermarket and done all your shopping in a record time. You’ve rushed home, afraid you might be late for this amazing treat. You’ve bought yourself a cute lollipop to suck on when the suspense gets too intense. Your SO is sitting next to you and neither of you can wait one minute longer.

The “treat” is the finale of the current season’s CSI, filmed by Quentin Tarantino. It promises to be amazing. CSI is one of your favourite TV shows anyway. Are there more interesting characters than gruesome Grissom, aka Teddy Bear, with his “moue”; Catherine, who, you suspect, has had collagen injected into her lips between the first and second season; Sara, whose make-up has become more and more sophisticated and unbelievable; Nick, who used to look like he was carved out of stone and then blew up for a while (cortisone treatment?), and pretty green-eyed Warrick. Oh, and Greg, who’s always in danger of being upstaged by his spiky hair.

(Well, there’s Detective Goren in Law and Order: Criminal Intent, with the weird and fascinating body language, and Horatio (CSI: Miami) with his stranger than strange inflexions, but one thing at a time. )

You couldn’t be more ready for it. And then… “We apologize… blah… blah… shown next week.”

WTF! Apparently, something that was said yesterday by the police about last week’s bombings made it impossible for Channel Five to show the last two episodes of CSI last night. Like what? The police have done a marvellous job and now know who the perpetrators are. What has that got to do with anything?

Today I’m slapping Channel Five. Last night I wanted to strangle them. The disappointment is very slowly wearing off.

Update (20/07/05): Those episodes have now been shown. There was no great excitement; I didn't have a lollipop; the feeling was more, “Get on with it, then!” And now I have to apologize to Channel Five. They were right to pull the programme out of the schedule that night: it contained a shocking scene that would have distressed us, so soon after those bombings. They couldn't explain why they'd decided to do it because it would have been a spoiler. I'm sorry, Channel Five. (The finale was very good, by the way. )


  1. I absolutely understand this. There are two rerun episodes run of CSI every night on one of the cable channels. I am now to the point of having seen all episodes twice and each night debate whether I want to see them a third time. Yes? No? YES! For a glimpse of Grissom, I will sit through the autopsies again! xoxoxo

  2. I'm so glad you understand. I watch whatever episode is on, regardless of whether I've seen it before or not. Anyway, I'm blessed with a terrible memory for plots so I can *never* remember what happens. :-)

    Love the autopsies. LOL! xxx

  3. They dislodged the CSI season finale?! That is despicable and without honor ;)

    (I also am fascinated with Goren's body language in Law and Order: Criminal Intent. I additionally find myself trying to figure out the time signatures of his weird speech cadences.)

  4. I'm usually concentrating so much on his body language that I don't hear what he says. Must listen more carefully next time. Wait! Next time is next year! Aaaargh! *I*, as Horatio would say, am getting withdrawal symptoms already.

  5. I love how you watch TV in terms of the characters'/actors' physical presence and appearance. I am always looking at the clothes and makeup and stuff.

    They could at least have just scrolled it across the bottom of the screen or something. The nerve!

  6. Whatever turns you on, chocolatecola! In the cases mentioned earlier, the men are sooo quirky they fill up the screen. The women are interesting and/or decorative and you can identify with them or not, but they're hardly "fascinating".

    Now, if only one could have a crush on Gary Sinise it would be perfect. The hangdog look doesn't do it for me.

  7. I love CSI and watch every week for Nick!

    I make fun of David Caruso's voice as Horatio and have dubbed that as Max's voice (my sister's cat).

    Do you get Autopsy with Dr. Michael Baden out there J? Or the show with Dr. Henry Lee? I have a huge facination with forensics but can't deal with all that blood.

  8. Why aren't we getting Autopsy? I'm asking the programme schedulers! I want to see it!I want more gore - NOW!

    Nick is just decorative, isn't he? I couldn't have a crush on him: I need "personality", "quirkiness".

  9. I am absolutely tickled to death that you are a CSI fan too. Every woman I know who watches this seems to cite Grissom. Petersen seems to be the James Garner de nos jours.

    Meanwhile, I am going to slap the Canadian regulators, who have bogged down my getting Turner Classic Movies in a lot of nonsensical red tape about who owns the rights to the films they show. Come on, people. Countries from the UK to Israel have their own version. Get your freaking act together.

  10. James Garner was never my kind of hero - too much bonhomie. I want "taciturn"; I want "difficult"; I want "wounded". LOL!

    I don't understand all those regulations. I believe everything should be available to everyone (well, you know what I mean.) :-)


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